I believe that knowledge is power, and community is key.
My personal experience with neurodivergence has led me to understand that sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell correspond to my mental health or mental distress, depending on my sensitives. I encourage you to increase your awareness of your senses and explore new ways to meet your regulation needs. The more we regulate, the less sensitive we become.
I have broken down our regulation needs into four categories: concentration, sensory, physical and mindfulness. I've listed one from each category below and will offer new suggestions from time to time.
Concentration exercises are activities we practice to help improve our focus and concentration. Our goal is to exercise and strengthen our brain's ability to focus and pay attention to things. Sharpening our cognitive skill takes practice, just like strengthening other muscles in our bodies.
When we think of building a puzzle, we often think of it being an activity for kids. My kids are the ones that got me back into building puzzles. We now have a puzzle table and from time to time I sit down when I'm feeling bored or indifferent and it helps me refocus my mind and brings me peace.
For some people, the brain has trouble organizing and responding to information from the senses. With consistent practice, these strategies can help you increase or decrease your alertness or arousal to match the situation or environment you're in.
I recently began this strategy and love it. Here's a three-minute dry brushing routine that you can try incorporating before your shower, whether it's in the morning before you start your day or at night before bedtime.
3-Minute Morning Dry Brushing Drill:
Lower Body
1. Use the dry brush for all strokes against your skin and apply light, even pressure. 2. You can use straight strokes towards the heart or circular movements. 3. Pick the brush up after the stroke is complete and start again. Do not stroke away from the heart. 4. Stroke 3–7 times in one area before moving to the next spot. 5. Begin at your kneecaps and stroke up towards your groin. 6. Continue to move from kneecap to groin all around your thigh until the whole upper leg is finished. 7. Repeat on the other thigh and buttocks towards your lower back. 8. Next, stroke from your ankle up to your kneecap just like you did with the upper thigh. Repeat on the other side. 9. Now, stroke up from the ankle to your groin in one long even movement over the whole leg. Complete on both sides.
Upper Body
1. Use the same technique as the lower body. 2. Raise your arm above your heart and stroke from your wrist to your armpit. 3. Repeat on the other arm. 4. Use the long-handled brush to stroke from your lower back and upper shoulders towards your armpit. 5. Gently brush your chest towards your center line or armpits. 6. Use the brush in a clockwise direction on your stomach, making seven circles around your navel (belly button). 7. Place the brush down and use your fingertips with light pressure to stroke down your neck from your jawline to your clavicles (collar bones).
Exercise serves as an emotional release. Chemicals released in your brain during the course of exercise create a sense of relaxation and happiness.
We typically don't think of singing out loud as a physical activity, so I wanted to expand your views here. Try this strategy when you don't have the time or ability to go for a run, bike ride, etc. and have a lot of built-up frustration, anger, or anxiety inside. Sing out loud (in your room or car) to your favorite tune or make up your own tune the thoughts that are causing the anger or anxiety. Parents, this can be helpful in the midst of family life chaos. Sometimes when I do this my kids will stop doing the thing that's driving me crazy. Of course, if you do this around your kids, keep it PG and silly. You get a physical release, humor helps break tension, and your kids think your silly.
Research shows that there are many possible benefits of mindfulness including lowering stress, improving emotional regulation, boosting cognitive abilities, and strengthening relationships. It has also been shown that mindfulness can lead to changes in the structure and function of the brain.
I encourage you to practice at least one mindfulness strategy each day to help reduce stress. When I am harboring feelings of resentment or hurt from someone or a situation, I like to use this meditation.
LOVING KINDNESS MEDITATION
Sit comfortably with your eyes gently closed. Take 3 slow deep breaths, relaxing areas of tension in your body with each exhalation. Bring your attention inward, giving yourself permission to leave the busyness and worries of your day behind.
Bring to mind a person or a pet to whom you feel close. Imagine them standing in front of you. Take in the loving look in their eyes and smile. Mentally recite these words (you can read them off the page until you've committed them to memory):
May you be happy.
May you be healthy in body and mind.
May you be safe from inner and outer danger.
May you live with ease.
Now think of a casual acquaintance, someone toward whom you have neither positive nor negative feelings. You and this person are alike in your wish to have resilience and well-being. Mentally recite these words:
Just as I wish to,
May you be happy.
May you be healthy in body and mind.
May you be safe from inner and outer danger.
May you live with ease.
Now bring to mind someone with whom you have difficulty. It could be a coworker, neighbor, family member, friend, or anyone else. Even if you feel otherwise, mentally recite these words:
Just as I wish to,
May you be happy.
May you be healthy in body and mind.
May you be safe from inner and outer danger.
May you live with ease.
Now imagine sending these same warm wishes to yourself:
May I be happy.
May I be healthy in body and mind.
May I be safe from inner and outer danger.
May I live with ease.
You can even imagine sending the same warm wishes to everyone in your community, or everyone on earth.
Take another 3 deep breaths. When you're ready, open your eyes. Take a moment to check in with yourself and notice the state of your mind and heart after doing this meditation. Even if this level of compassion seems artificial right now, overtime this meditation practice helps us cultivate greater kindness towards ourselves and others.
Reading- even if reading is hard for you, take this opportunity to read about a topic of interest. When you find your mind wandering, bring it back to your book and continue.
Weighted blanket- when you are feeling overwhelmed or frazzled with anxiety, sit under a weighted blanket.
Experience nature through a hike or walk. Take in the details of everything around you.
Listen to a song with lyrics that you connect with. If you need motivation, listen to a song with lyrics that are motivating. If you are experiencing conflict within a relationship, listen to a song with lyrics that promote healing and forgiveness.
Everyday Resilience- A Practical Guide to Build Inner Strength and Weather Life's Challenges by Gail Gazelle, MD
ACT Daily Journal- Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy by Diana Hill, PhD and Debbie Sorensen, PhD
A Liberated Mind- How to Pivot Toward What Matters by Steven C. Hayes, PhD
Pieces of Me Workbook- A Beginners Workbook in Exploring the Building Blocks of Identity and Cultivating Self Awareness by Tiffany A. Wright MSW
Divergent Mind- Thriving in a World That Wasn't Designed for You by Jenara Nerenberg
Social Intelligence- The Revolutionary New Science of Human Relationships by Daniel Goleman
ADHD Workbook For Men- Exercises and Strategies to Improve Focus, Motivation, and Confidence by Puja Trivedi Parikh, LCSW BCBA
Vagus Nerve Secrets by Maria Hampton
The Rain Barrel Effect by Dr. Stephen Cabral
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman, PH.D., and Nan Silver
Drama Free- A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships by Nedra Glover Tawwab
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